Played

Nick Hughes, Cliff Harrop, *Damien Kelly, Grant Ellis, Matt Chapman, Paul Rushforth, Chris Territt, ⁺Jason Leitch, Adrian Lightly, Julian Brownlow-Davies, Andrew "Bod" Evans

Report

by Chris Territt

And so to Kent, with the Relishers looking to set a new club record for "matches undefeated in a season". Despite the absence of Dave 'Beardyman' Ludlum from the line-up, there was a positive mood in the GRACC camp, with the return of the other two-thirds of The Three Ausketeers^TM as well as the first appearance in 2007 of The One Who Is Cliff.

Anyway, Trafalgar CC turned out to be a delight. After a cheery and relaxed welcome to their home ground, the beautiful Hall Place in Bexley, Trafalgar won the toss and decided to bat, not least because half their team had yet to arrive.

So our match captain, Damien 'Fuchsia' Kelly, took the field with ten men (inevitably, Cliff was still getting his hair out of rollers or something) and, under the sort of clear, blue skies that make swing bowlers weep, lobbed the ball to Mr Hughes. Nick immediately put the ball there-or-thereabouts at a decent lick, tying the batsmen down and only twice dropping short and allowing a couple of lusty pulls to the boundary. Hero of the last game, Matt 'Chappers' Chapman, shared the new ball from the Nettles End and whilst both were miserly, with the openers looking to see off the early bowling, neither could find the breakthrough.

At this point, some concerns about the pitch began to surface, not least due to their No.2's habit of crouching á la Chanderpaul with his bat a foot or so in front of him and the toe of it rooted to the pitch. Perhaps some local knowledge was involved but he definitely seemed to think one or two were going to 'keep a bit low'. Anyway, we trundled on quite nicely for a few overs and with some sharp fielding and tactical positioning by the skipper, kept the run rate to under 3 per over at the end of the opening spells.

Having missed the last game (and with his countryman having stolen in to take the bowling plaudits), Grant 'El Presidenté' Ellis was itching to bowl first change. He too was difficult to score against, pitching the ball up and forcing the batsmen to defend. When Damien took over from Matt (and bowled with an aggression this correspondent is happy to have not yet faced in the nets), the batsmen clearly decided they were going to have to start having a bit of a go. A couple of twitchy swishes outside off stump got the fielders on their toes and some, er, "enthusiastic" appealing contributed to the batsmen's nerves. A wicket was surely not far away; in fact, the tension and surprising quality of the cricket had reached such heights that we actually started to attract an audience, albeit a group of young local females whose primary interest was cheap white cider and ogling “teh boyz” (we felt obliged to tell them Adrian was married or they may have pounced…)

Back in the middle, Grant eventually made the breakthrough with a full straight delivery which nipped back a touch and hit the top of middle stump. A wicket maiden - good reward for some accurate stuff. The new batsman survived the next couple of overs, but Grant had scented blood (and bragging rights). The first delivery of his fifth over was a testing yorker that their No.1 played all round, attempting to clip through midwicket. Next up, one of their handier-looking batsmen strode to the wicket, only to receive exactly the same delivery which duly scuttled under his defensive prod, straight into middle & leg. Two in two - could we have the first Relishers hat-trick in the offing?

No, of course not. What were you thinking? The hat-trick ball was carefully defended and Grant bowled out the rest of the over for a deserved (and we think unprecedented) Double Wicket Maiden. The new batsmen played themselves in but were limited to taking the odd single and waiting for the (rare) bad ball. Adrian “Right Turn Clyde” Lightly was tidy as ever and had a sharp chance put down by Paul in the gully which, after extensive discussion, was agreed did not warrant a beer fine (although half a shandy was mooted as the polite thing to do). However, the pitch was still slow and not providing much assistance to the 'quicks' and Damien called for the twin leg-spin wiles of Chris 'Chris' Territt and Paul 'I Never' Rushforth.

The batsman warily faced the first ball from Chris, clearly not expecting a slow looping left arm delivery outside off to spin back towards his middle stump. To his credit, he hit it. To Paul's credit he snaffled the high catch at short-ish extra cover (expertly placed there by Damien). The pitch was turning square and after a couple of wild doosras (which troubled Jason more than the batsmen), Chris got one bang on line. Finally sensing a chance to score, the batsman tried to turn it round the corner, only drill it low into Matt's hands at short midwicket (expertly placed there by Chris).

With the middle order wobbling and the score only having reached 57, Paul set about them with gusto. The ball he produced to their No.6 pitched just outside leg and crashed into off stump, past an utterly bemused Trafalgarite; a thing of beauty which would have done for many better batsmen. Sensing they were in trouble, No.7 came out swinging. A streaky boundary only prolonged the inevitable and he spooned a catch to Damien at mid off next ball. At this stage, the Relishers were literally cock-a-hoop. Better was to come when No.8 tried to play against the spin and dollied one to midwicket, where Hughes made no mistake. However, Paul saved the best till last and their curly-haired No.9 was almost certainly glad to see a ball sliding a good foot or so down the leg side. His opinion of it changed slightly when it careened off the pitch into his leg stump. Most embarrassing. Paul was in transports of delight with 4-11 off four unplayable overs, his career best figures by some margin.

Bod was now given his chance and came on to wrap things up, bowling a good line, if slightly erratic in length. He got the last man in his first over with one that didn’t so much keep low, as tunnelled under the pitch and popped up onto the stumps. After some confusion, it was agreed on both sides that it was a no-ball, having bounced (at least) twice and the batman was reprieved. This was, of course, a red rag to a bull and Bod duly induced him into an injudicious shot in his next over, which Damien pouched spectacularly low to the ground at extra cover. Trafalgar despatched for 81 all out and the best GRACC performance ever with the ball.

After a very good tea, Cliff and Julian ambled (surely 'marched'? – Ed.) out to commence our run chase. Immediately, it was clear that 82 was not a forgone conclusion on this mysterious pitch. The opposition opening bowlers were quick and on off stump and, in the second over, Julian nicked one through to the keeper for a six-ball duck. Cliff was then almost immediately bowled for 1. The remaining Relishers sucked their collective teeth.

Jason and Nick, however, were the epitome of solidity. Nick got off the mark with a crisp boundary and then settled down for a watchful innings, his only blemish a meaty pull that rocketed to square leg (who didn’t fancy broken fingers and promptly shelled it). Jason rotated the strike nicely and saw the score along to 32 before he nicked one for 14. Adrian came in and, realising that simply by batting out the remaining overs we would win comfortably, dug in with Hughes who had started to express himself at the other end - one searing cover drive sticks in the mind particularly. Eventually Adrian fell to a loopy medium-pace yorker which he could have hit three times by the time it got to him. Sadly, he was through the shot early, flicked it back to the bowler and was back in the pavilion for 7.

With the score now at 61 the result was almost a foregone conclusion but Grant was unable to add to his heroics with the ball and fell to a similar looping yorker which seemed to go under his bat. By now, all that was required was for Chris to hold up an end whilst Hughes saw us to victory. Trafalgar brought on an occasional bowler with only 3 runs left to get and it was with great pleasure that Chris immediately leathered him over the top of mid-off to seal the victory with 19 or so overs to spare. Hughes finished 38 not out, a patient effort (which almost deserved a fifty).

So the Relishers' 2007 undefeated run continues with what was an excellent all-round performance from the team. Many thanks to Trafalgar CC for a most enjoyable day and we look forward to returning their hospitality next year at our place. And if they could bring that pitch with them, we wouldn’t mind a bit :)

Result

Trafalgar CC: 81 all out (34.0 overs)

GRACC: 82 for 5 (22.0 overs)

GRACC won by 5 wickets

Shot of the day: Mr Hughes’ straight drive to take us to within 3 runs of victory was a shot of elegant disdain. A decent fast ball on off stump, slapped just to the on side of straight and all the way down to the boundary with a ragged gaggle of fielders in pursuit.

Ball of the Day: Paul’s first clean-bowled was probably the better ball but getting their No.9 round his legs was so amusing, it can only be the winner. It also turned a mile - the look on the poor chap’s face is one I hope Paul carries with him forever.

Champagne Moment: So many choices; Damien’s catch, Grant’s double wicket maiden, but I think the team will agree, the squeal of delight Paul’s first wicket elicited from our teenage fans is a sound that will forever gladden the hearts of all who heard it.

Sledge of the Day: Not one of ours for once - such was the team harmony, we barely remembered to take the piss out of each other, let alone the other team. Thankfully, the pressure of defending a small total didn’t rob Trafalgar of their sense of humour so they take the honours for the following exchange:

Mid On: Would you like me a little straighter?
Bowler: No, I like you just as camp as you are.